The second procedure

The days and weeks leading up to the procedure where fairly uneventful and I managed to keep my anxiety at bay. I chose Wednesday the 19th. I would have to stay over one night and that would give me two days at home alone to recover. I know from past procedures that I am comforted having Don with me the day of the procedure but I want to be mostly alone for my recovery. I like to be alone when I don’t feel well. I can be a grumpy patient. We decided that Don would spend the day with me on Wednesday but our dear friend Shane would pick me up the next day. Shane was a good call I figured because if I was grumpy with him at discharge he didn’t have to live with me. Also he is strong and fit enough to help me if I was a real mess. Recall that I was in much worse shape than anyone expected after my back surgery so I was planning for the worst.

The day before was our work holiday celebration. We had a feast at a nearby Argentinian Steakhouse. Afterwards we returned to the office to exchange gifts, further indulge in a homemade coffee cake and share our Christmas and New Year plans. It was a fun and busy day. Perfect. It wasn’t until later that night, when I climbed into bed, that I starting getting a little anxious about the procedure. I had given Sharla a big hug the prior morning before she left for school but regretted not insisting on a kiss. Kasey and I had spoken a few days prior but I should have made a point to see him before the surgery. I held Don a little closer that night. I am sure he noticed but he would never complain. His embrace quiets and calms me in a way I have not experienced in the past. It is truly my favorite place to be. Surprisingly I quickly drifted off to sleep.

I woke early…a few minutes before the alarm. As a teen and young adult I set an alarm each night only to wake 5 minutes before it sounded in the morning. But in the last 10-15 years I have rarely set an alarm at all. My internal clock wakes me most mornings within the same 5-10 minute span. On the odd chance I need to set an alarm, predictably I am up 5 minutes earlier. Perhaps well directed anxiety?

We had to register by 7:30 and checked in a few minutes after 7. The next 30-60 minutes was a flurry of activity and before I knew it I was in a gown in pre-op. MANY people, nurses, PA’s, doctors, and other scrub clad folks visited with me and asked my name and DOB. There was NO possible way to have the wrong guy with that protocol! My vitals were taken and blood drawn for labs. We had a bit of a delay waiting for one of the labs and it seemed from what I overheard my doctor was a bit peeved. However my anesthesiologist was very firm she was not doing anything until that lab was back. I think it had to do with whether I had ever had a blood transfusion. I knew immediately we had a green light by the huge smile on the nurse’s face after getting a call from the lab. Don gave me a kiss and headed to the waiting area.

I was wheeled down a short hall into a huge room FULL of very complicated looking equipment. The nurse on my left ( I think both of the people with me at that point were nurses) seemed to know what I was thinking an assured me that all that equipment was not for me. They asked me to transfer onto a very narrow bed. It was padded but the sides curved up to cradle the patient. I wondered if my butt would fit. It did…barely. The male nurse on my right gave me some mice warm sheets. As I looked at them I noted that they were both very attractive people. Not the worst last faces to see if I was going to die, I thought to myself. The nurse on my left told me she was going to give me the medicine to make me sleepy. I said ok and almost immediately got teary. I apologized for getting emotional. I asked them to take good care of me because I had a lot of people depending on me. They each held one of my hands and told me not to worry. I felt better and drifted to sleep.