Second AND third opinions…

After several days of ignoring my need to make a plan I began to do a little research. I found a cardiac practice in Hollywood that caught my eye. Good ratings, reviews and reputations as far as I could tell. I reviewed the Dr.’s bios and liked the younger (probably late 30’s of the three). Maybe it was the Boston connection but I liked that he did a residency at Beth Israel. I convinced myself that he was old enough not to be a rookie and young enough to be cutting edge. A little over a week later I was in his office. After the nurse tormented me with the scale and did my vitals he came right in.

Immediately I sensed a kind and warm person. He was casual and good natured. He asked me a variety of questions and whether he was or not he SEEMED concerned. Then he showed me the a computer generated video of the procedure. Honestly it freaked me out a little bit as he explained that the recommended procedure was a cardio ablation. And by ablation they would be BURNING the INSIDE of my heart. Scientifically I understood. There is a place in my heart generating a rogue impulse that is throwing me out of rhythm. So a catheter is inserted in the groin and travels to the heart and somehow locates that rogue electrical impulse. Another catheter (also inserted in my groin, ugh) is used to actually burn that section of the heart. The impulse doesn’t stop rather it is encased in scar tissue from which it cannot escape to disrupt the other impulses. Cool right? BURN THE INSIDE OF MY HEART!

After the video he explained that since my Afib was persistent there was a 70-75% chance my rhythm would be corrected by the procedure. He noted that many people with my condition need more than one ablation. Me being prone to being the oddball asked worst case scenario, “what if we cant fix it?” He took a deep breath and reassured me that is unlikely but I pressed him. He explained that Afib is hard on the heart. While it won’t necessarily significantly shorten your life it could have a serious impact on the quality. He shared that over time the heart will lose strength and will not be as effective. He explained that one would be more and more tired as the heart grows weaker. In my minds eye I imaged Don sprinting up a nature trail in our retirement while I sat in a wheelchair at base camp.

The Dr. informed me that he had a couple of spots available over the next several weeks (before Christmas) if I wanted to schedule it. I thanked him sincerely and explained that I had a 3rd opinion and preferred to wait. He understood and wished me well.

The next day I was antsy. My third opinion was a week away. I was worried that if I waited too long I may not be able to get the procedure with Dr. #2 before the New Year and I really wanted this done in 2018. Additionally I had placed many babies from that hospital and always felt my expectant moms, babies and Adoptive parents were treated well. I called the nurse and booked the procedure for December 19th, about a month away. It’s crazy but I thought the 19th would be ok because if I died that day on the operating table the cremation and service could take place before Christmas and no one would have to change their holiday plans. Sometimes I think strange things…I know. So dramatic.

The following week I had my third consult. The Dr. was a older guy with a New York accent. He asked me what I did for work as small talk. After I told him he shared that he and his wife adopted a child and they were so lucky because so many adopted kids have problems and that so many agencies and birth parents were scammers. I smiled and told him that was not my experience. He shifted to the issue at hand and sounded like a cross between a medical genius and a car salesman. I knew 5 minutes in that this man was NOT performing my procedure. He offered to set it up . I told him I needed to think about it.

On the way out of the office he jokingly directed a nurse not to mess up my file, apparently she had placed it outside the wrong exam room, or he would “put her back on the other side of the wall.” She laughed and looked away. I couldn’t believe he would say that to her. I was stunned and walked out into the waiting room. I was thinking about asking to see the nurse to apologize for not speaking up and tell her the Dr. was a POS but I heard a “hi Rob” from the waiting area. There sat one of my clients (the actual child I helped place for adoption) now a teenager who was accompanying her grandmother to the cardiologist. Grandma is Cuban with a think accent…I hated the Dr. even more thinking her might be unkind to her. But since I hand’t gone public with my medical issue I made polite small talk and quickly headed out.

Before I got to my car I knew I was keeping the December 19th date for the procedure. But over the next day or two I became incredibly anxious remembering the horrible recovery from the back surgery, recalling the first time I realized I could have died that day. I would have left my kids without a plan and the love of my life with nothing. I recalled all of the pain and how much I hated feeling week and dependent. I needed to address this. Once back in my office I made a list with just 2 items.

Therapist

Will